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Andre's avatar

My personal experience has been that when I have been fully open and honest about a subject (whatever it is), what I have been told is that my thinking is off-center, I don't know what I'm talking about, or the way I said it was wrong (whether it was words, tone, or body language). It's never "why do you think or feel that way?" and have a deep discussion. So if a married woman feels like her husband is holding back from being brutally honest, maybe she should reflect on how her past interactions have been with her husband and see why he should have any reason to be so. Her feelings are not the only important thing in the relationship.

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Jenny's avatar

Another great article from you, Matt.

I'm having a few issues with my marriage and I'm wondering if you've ever touched on these specific things in any of your articles and if so if you can point me to them.

I'm married to a man whom I've never seen get angry. I'm the one in the relationship with all the emotions. I often say I have enough emotions for the both of us. Because of this, I'm always seen as automatically in the wrong and the abusive one because my husband is never the one to bring up anything negative but I do. But I feel like I'm angry and act the way I do due to built up resentment from the way I feel emotionally neglected. I'm not the innocent victim in all of this but he thinks it's all me. I don't think I was always this angry but it's come from years of dealing with stuff from him.

Also, when I bring up something for the 1000th time that's bothering me he will say things like "I'm learning" "Be patient with me" "I'd never get mad at you like you get mad at me" and I don't know how many years you can claim to be "working on it" and be patient. It drives me crazy.

I can't even get him to watch your videos or read your book. I tell him it's important to me to at least watch your videos and he says he will but then tells me he's been busy with work and hasn't gotten to it and I tell him that's like literally the problem. I'm never a priority and I feel like I'm on the back burner to deal with when he's not busy with something.

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