Our brains sometimes invent new negatives to replace ones we've eliminated. If we're in relationships where repair is happening, this phenomenon can emerge as an obstacle. Something to watch out for.
Gottman (and likely others) refers to this as “negative sentiment override” where you get what you’re looking for and it’s all negative.
Gottman (and likely others) refers to this as “negative sentiment override” where you get what you’re looking for and it’s all negative.