Matthew: I believe you and I are cyberspace soulmates! Your writing always hits home for me. Intimate relationships can be so hard to maintain. There are times I wonder if it's worth it and have wanted to walk away from my marriage of 10 years. You always manage to make me see how I can improve MYSELF to help our connection. On a side note: I'm a music lover and try to relate songs to a situation - after reading your post, the song "A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You" - by the Monkees (Neil Diamond) came to mind. After all, lyrics are just poetry - that you sing. Always, thank you for your insight! Julie
But how does one suppress a defensiveness that is a result of invalidation? I got so sick of losing arguments about how I think, that any last straggles of defensiveness are for self-preservation and identity at this point.
Matthew: I believe you and I are cyberspace soulmates! Your writing always hits home for me. Intimate relationships can be so hard to maintain. There are times I wonder if it's worth it and have wanted to walk away from my marriage of 10 years. You always manage to make me see how I can improve MYSELF to help our connection. On a side note: I'm a music lover and try to relate songs to a situation - after reading your post, the song "A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You" - by the Monkees (Neil Diamond) came to mind. After all, lyrics are just poetry - that you sing. Always, thank you for your insight! Julie
But how does one suppress a defensiveness that is a result of invalidation? I got so sick of losing arguments about how I think, that any last straggles of defensiveness are for self-preservation and identity at this point.
I love this article! My bf got defensive when I told him that it bothered me that it took him hours to respond to a text of mine.
He said, “sorry” however followed it up with the excuse he was busy with the kids.
I didn’t need the excuse!