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Constance Walsh's avatar

This is pure gold. Thank You so much.

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Matthew Fray's avatar

Thank you so much, Constance.

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John Zorabedian's avatar

This is painful to read Matthew and I'm sorry for all your difficult experiences in your relationship. It wasn't all your fault and I think you may take on all the blame on yourself. You're really hard on yourself. But I relate to this situation you describe in this post. When my wife's father died I absolutely failed the test. And it went rapidly downhill through a series of crises until now we are separated on the verge of divorce. This is the hardest moment of my life. Thank you for your content it is so good to find a man who can articulate these issues so many of us face.

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Chloe's avatar

Spot on.

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DM79's avatar

So painful. This was our story almost 20 yrs ago. With a new baby and so little support. It makes me tearful still as the hits kept coming. Just like your book. Somehow held on but I think it’s too much to bear any more

Thank you for sharing your story. It’s easier to sidle up to my own when reading it as something separate

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Elizabeth Lyon's avatar

My father passed Oct. 26, 2023. Even though my husband and I are separated, I called him when word came my Dad only had a few hours. My Dad was very loving, very supportive, would always show up, would always keep his word. I have done everything can to model myself after him. It was hard to lose him.

I was also afraid that day. I was afraid I would trigger my husband. When he came over I tried to cry as quietly as possible. I let an occasional tear or 2 roll, and immediately stopped myself. I was terrified he would become more emotional than me, and that the oxygen would be sucked out of the room. (his normal reaction to death-he feels it so deeply he is despondent for weeks). And I was positive if I became too emotional, he would get up and leave. I wanted him there, needed him there, so I just quietly cried, and did everything I could to keep myself in check. That’s the day my Dad died.

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