I thought for a brief second about sharing this with my bf however the only thing he said after reading She divorced me because I left dishes by the sink was, “ I feel like the husband and wife at the same time”. Like Wow!🫤
Self-awareness and the ability to temporarily set aside our own pain and frustrations in order to better understand and meet the needs of our partner are tragically rare. I think it's awesome that you're trying. He may come around. I think the trick is positioning it not as information designed to point out someone's flaws or shortcomings. This isn't about a bad person doing something wrong. It's about the ways in which what we do or don't do is impacting our partner. On the occasions in which something we're doing is producing pain in the other person, they damn well better experience us seeming to care and working to make sure the same thing doesn't keep happening if there's any hope for trust to exist. It's really unfortunate how elusive that is though in the messiness of our minds and hearts.
It totally makes sense but unfortunately only some of us will be transparent about it and dive in with a pure heart and hopefully then it won’t be too late.
This is spot on. It applies to those of us who are single and would rather not be, too. In some ways being married and feeling alone is worse, but being single and not having enough of a support system is no picnic, and one I’ve never figured out how to solve.
Thanks for sharing! I was married for 23 years and alone for most of those years but I put my children first and stayed. Looking back now….I would have done things differently but we live and learn.
Also, before meeting my bf I was newly divorced and had no family here but my daughters who lived hours away. It definitely was tough.🫤
I was married for almost 30 years, to two different men, and felt alone a lot of that time. No kids, so I really should not have stayed nearly that long with either of them.
I’ve been on my own for 3 years now. I’ve had a handful of short relationships but none of them have been all that great. I’m in the process of breaking up with my current bf. It’s scary.. I do have a few girlfriends but none of them are all that close to me. I’m also breaking up with my therapist at the same time. I know things will get better but right now I’m a soggy mess.
Great article!
Thank you, Tee!
I thought for a brief second about sharing this with my bf however the only thing he said after reading She divorced me because I left dishes by the sink was, “ I feel like the husband and wife at the same time”. Like Wow!🫤
Self-awareness and the ability to temporarily set aside our own pain and frustrations in order to better understand and meet the needs of our partner are tragically rare. I think it's awesome that you're trying. He may come around. I think the trick is positioning it not as information designed to point out someone's flaws or shortcomings. This isn't about a bad person doing something wrong. It's about the ways in which what we do or don't do is impacting our partner. On the occasions in which something we're doing is producing pain in the other person, they damn well better experience us seeming to care and working to make sure the same thing doesn't keep happening if there's any hope for trust to exist. It's really unfortunate how elusive that is though in the messiness of our minds and hearts.
Thank you. I appreciate you weighing in😉
It totally makes sense but unfortunately only some of us will be transparent about it and dive in with a pure heart and hopefully then it won’t be too late.
This is spot on. It applies to those of us who are single and would rather not be, too. In some ways being married and feeling alone is worse, but being single and not having enough of a support system is no picnic, and one I’ve never figured out how to solve.
Janine,
Thanks for sharing! I was married for 23 years and alone for most of those years but I put my children first and stayed. Looking back now….I would have done things differently but we live and learn.
Also, before meeting my bf I was newly divorced and had no family here but my daughters who lived hours away. It definitely was tough.🫤
I was married for almost 30 years, to two different men, and felt alone a lot of that time. No kids, so I really should not have stayed nearly that long with either of them.
I’ve been on my own for 3 years now. I’ve had a handful of short relationships but none of them have been all that great. I’m in the process of breaking up with my current bf. It’s scary.. I do have a few girlfriends but none of them are all that close to me. I’m also breaking up with my therapist at the same time. I know things will get better but right now I’m a soggy mess.
I'm sorry, Janine. That's a lot to carry. I really appreciate you sharing that here.