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Matthew Fray is a relationship coach, blogger, and author of This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships.
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My marriage ended in 2013. It involved a lot of sobbing, self-loathing, and feeling sorry for myself. A drunken phone call with a phone-a-therapist prompted me to “journal my feelings,” only instead of writing in a private journal like an adult, I drank more alcohol and published it to the internet.
I found new life and purpose blogging about the end of my marriage, discussing relationships with others, and self-reflecting on how my own beliefs and actions contributed to my family’s demise. A bunch of people said it looked, sounded, and felt just like their marriage, and we all had a holy shit moment together, realizing collectively that our relationship conflict and trust-erosion patterns are all pretty much the same.
That journey blossomed into a new career as a relationship coach, and then, an opportunity to write a book.
I’m the divorced guy who got a tiny bit famous for leaving dishes by the sink. But it turns out it was never really about the dishes.